Bad Day To Be Short

When the rain started to fall shortly after 9 a.m., everyone throughout Port Farley breathed a sigh of relief.  It had been over three weeks since the city had seen a drop.  Things had become so dry, some people briefly considered stealing buckets of water from the canal, but the security gates the city had put up around the shipyard four years earlier put an end to that.

By eleven o’clock, the mood was starting to change.  Sentiments such as, “It’s good to see the rain again, my lawn and flower beds needed it, but I hope it stops by the time I leave for lunch” were expressed.  By one o’clock, people were getting annoyed.

“Holy hydroplaning!” many of the residents said to their coworkers as they returned from lunch.

By 2:30, and with no end to the deluge in sight, everyone was starting to wonder if maybe God was pulling another Noah’s Ark.

“Alright, who did what to piss off the big guy upstairs?” someone asked, half jokingly, half seriously.

When the work day ended, even those with pickups sporting ridiculous monster truck-sized wheels wondered how they were going to get home.

“No use trying to drive in this flood.  We’ll just ruin our vehicles,” everyone said.

So they took off their shoes and socks, rolled up their pant legs, and put on their saddest faces in hopes of making friends with someone carrying an umbrella.  But those with umbrellas weren’t any better off.  The wind saw to it that everyone got soaked.  Between that and trying to navigate the water, the residents of Port Farley looked as though they had all just graduated from a really bad school of mime.

Everyone had a difficult time getting home, but those smallest in stature struggled the most.  The only ones to benefit, really, were the doctors and pharmacists who treated the outbreaks of pneumonia and foot funguses that followed shortly afterwards, and the restoration companies hired to repair flooded basements.

Thirty-three inches of rain fell by the time it was all over.  Not quite a world record, but more than enough to  make everyone forget why they wanted the most recent dry spell to end in the first place.

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