God’s Waiting Room

“So, what brought you here?” the elderly gentleman asked the bewildered and much younger man who appeared out of nowhere in the chair next to his.

“I….I’m not sure. To be honest, I don’t even know where I am,” he said while turning his head this way and that, trying to see if he could figure out his location from just a few glances.

“Why, you’re in God’s waiting room, of course! Where else would you be? Oh….I’m sorry. No one’s told you yet, have they?”

“Told me what?” the now even more confused younger man said.

“You’re dead. I’m Jack by the way. And you are…?” the elderly gentleman asked while putting out his hand for the man next to him to shake.

The young man looked down at Jack’s outstretched arm, and out of habit went to put out his hand to follow through on the social nicety. That’s when he noticed that he didn’t have a right hand for anyone to shake and started screaming.

“My hand! My hand! Where’s my hand?” he shouted.

“Likely the same place where you left your leg,” Jack said.

“What?” the young man said before noticing that his right leg was missing as well.

“What’s your name, son?” Jack asked.


“Judging by the lacerations on your face Trevor, I’m going to say it was a car accident that did you in. Me? Heart attack.”

Trevor didn’t know what to make of the old man sitting beside him or what he had just said. Could he really be dead? Dying was something he should have remembered, wasn’t it? The last few things Trevor could recall was having a fight with his girlfriend, going out for a few drinks with friends to calm himself down, and then calling her on his cellphone on the way home to yell at her some more. Ohhhhh, maybe there was something to all of those PSA’s about distracted driving after all.

“God has a waiting room?” Trevor said to Jack after accepting what had happened to him.

“It stands to reason. I mean, thousands of people die everyday. You can’t expect St. Peter to process everyone all at once, now can you?”

“I guess not,” Trevor said. “You’d think there be more natural lighting though, and better seating. Fluorescent lighting and school bleachers don’t really seem higher power-ish to me. How long have you been waiting here?”

“An eternity,” Jack said before bursting into laughter over his own joke. “You’ll have to excuse me, I had a weird sense of humour when I was alive.”

“So, how does this work? Do we just sit here and wait until they call our name?” Trevor then asked.

“Yup, and I recommend using that time to either to come up with good excuses for why you did all the shitty things you did during your time on earth, or to pray for forgiveness.”

“Jack Porter? Could you come to the front of the line, please?” someone with an angelic voiced announced.

“That’s me kid. See you on the other side.”

Whether that would be in Heaven or Hell – well, both men would only have to wait a few minutes to find out.  It was judgement day.


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