Bug Killer

“If you had the power to completely destroy something, would you or would you leave it alone?”

My best friend, Liam was the one who just asked that question. He was always asking weird questions like that. One time he wanted to know if I would help him make robbing trains cool again. This other time he asked how much he’d have to pay me to snap Olivia Park’s training bra during recess.

“I wish you wouldn’t hang around that kid,” my mother has said more than once. “He’s nothing but trouble. Mark my words, he’s going to end up in prison one day.”

I don’t have the heart to tell her that Liam loves the thought of going to prison the way I love the thought of going to Disney Land. Besides, in a town of four thousand, there aren’t a lot of other kids my age to hang round. Liam, my other best friend Noah and I have been buddies ever since we met in kindergarten five years ago.

“Well, would you?” Liam asked again.

“I think leaving it alone is what makes you powerful,” Noah, the super intelligent one of our group, answered.

“Huh?” Liam then said.

“It takes a lot of self-restraint to just walk away. I like to think that I’d have the will power.”

“I don’t know what either ‘self-restraint’ or ‘will power’ mean, but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with you being fucking crazy,” Liam told him.

“Liam, don’t say the F-word!” the goody goody of the group (that would be me, in case you were wondering) said.

“Liam! Don’t say the F-word. Liam! Don’t destroy everything in your path! I don’t know why I hang around you two, pussies.”

Noah and I weren’t really sure either. With Noah, you could tell his brain was going to take him places. Me, well I was just hoping not to have to work at the tractor dealership like my Dad when I grew up. As for Liam, the most we could hope for was for him to get off with time served instead of doing something that got him sent away for life. We still liked hanging around him, though; if for no other than reason than it made the bullies at school stay away from us.

“I think it would be more fun to destroy whatever was in your way,” Liam then said. “Take this ant hill here. All I have to do is pour some boiling water on it and poof! No more pain in the ass ants.”

“Liam! Don’t say the A-word!” I told him. “Besides, what do you have against ants?”

“They’re bugs and bugs do what bugs do – they bug me. And that’s why they have to die. Lots of things need to die as far as I’m concerned. Want to come in and help me boil some water?”

“Nah,” Noah said. “I should head home and get going on my math homework.”

“Me too. See ya,” I said.

“Pussies.”

“Liam!”

“I know, don’t say the P-word. You two are such losers.”

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