A.J.’s New Girlfriend

The guys were a bit surprised when A.J. asked if he could bring his new girlfriend over next Sunday to watch the game with everyone.

“You have a girlfriend?” asked Jim, the owner of the eighty inch screen everyone enjoyed watching Sunday afternoons.

“Don’t sound so surprised,” A.J. said.

“No, it’s just that…we all thought you were through with women after what Gina did to you. It’s good to see you’ve finally been able to move on. Bring her along, we’d love to meet her.”

By the time A.J. showed up at Jim’s place, the rest of the guys were there. Matt and Chris used to bring their girlfriends, but then they got married to those girlfriends and were now at the point where an afternoon away from the women had become a welcome relief.

“Hi guys,” A.J. said after walking into Jim’s man cave. “Everyone, I’d like you to meet Piper.”

Before anyone had the chance to say hello back, the sound of the stadium crowd’s cheers erupted from the television and the guys turned to see what they had missed.

“So guys, I’ve already told Piper that we pretty much don’t do any talking during the game, other than shout words of encouragement or swear words at our team. She’s cool with that, aren’t you honey?” A.J. said after the instant replay was over.

Piper didn’t say a word.

“Yeah, she seems like the quiet type for sure,” Matt said. “So, where did you two meet?” he then asked, very much interested.

“On-line. It all happened really fast. I typed in that I wanted a blonde with blue eyes who looked good in a bikini, and up she popped.”

“Already inflated?” Chris asked.

“Chris!” Jim shouted, before busting out laughing.

“Seriously A.J. What’s the deal with – um, Piper you called her? Did you give her that name or did the sex toy company pre-name her back at the factory?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” A.J. said.

“I mean, you brought a blow up doll to my house and tried to pass her off as a real women. For God’s sake, buddy!”

“I’m sorry,” an embarrassed A.J. apologized. “It’s just that I’ve been so lonely since Gina left me. I guess I was desperate for companionship, any type of companionship. I still miss her you know, Gina,” he then said before breaking into tears.

“A.J.,” Matt chimed in. “Gina was a whore who left you for her prison pen pal. You’re better off without her. Now get yourself together. Better yet, get yourself a real girlfriend, you freak.”

“Can you guys help me with that?” A.J. asked his friends.

“Sure we can,” Jim said. “And the first way we’re going to help is by taking the plug out of Piper and deflating her.”

“Um, Jim. Do we have to deflate her just yet?” Matt asked. “Maybe we all could first – you know.”

Jim gave his friend a disapproving look.

“What? I’m just saying, we’ve all been doing it for ages with only our wives. I might be kind of fun to…”

“Not in my house, you won’t,” Jim made it clear.

The rest of the game was watched in silence, without a word from any of the guys. Or from Piper.

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