Purple Pandemonium

When a woman buys an eye shadow kit called Purple Pandemonium, you can bet she means business.  The more shades of purple there are in the palette, the more serious she is, and Leanne MacGyver was definitely serious when she made such a purchase from her neighbourhood pharmacy.  We’re talking eight shades in one glorious kaleidoscope serious.

She had Asshole Andy to thank for that.  That isn’t his actual name, of course.  His real name is Andy Williams, but being the asshole that he is, he doesn’t deserve to share the same name as that sweet, golden voiced crooner of your grandparents’ era.  He deserves to be called – well, you know.

People warned her right from the start that’s what he was,  but she refused to believe them.  How could anyone that good looking, with such a cool downtown loft, and a sexy sports car be an asshole?  He must be perfect, and being chosen by him must mean something inside of her was special, otherwise why date her; especially when there were plenty of better looking women out there?

Because, beautiful women have options.  They know they’re beautiful, so if you want to date them you had better treat them right.  Women like Leanne – plain, insecure, and dutiful – you can control them.  You can say things like, “You’re lucky to have me.  Most guys wouldn’t give you a second look.”  You can keep tabs on their every move while you come and go as you please.  You can smash their personal treasures to bits and say you had to because the things they love are stupid, and they’ll believe you.

But you’d only do those things if you were an asshole, and you’re not one, are you?  You know that someone as kind, and loving, and loyal as Leanne deserves to be treated like a queen.  That’s what her friends had been trying to get her to realize ever since she hooked up with him.  Her self-esteem was too low for her to believe them, though.  It took the disappearance of her cat, Snowball to get her to stand up for herself.

A work commitment had required her to go out of town for a few days.  When she got back, the first thing Asshole Andy said to her was that Snowball had run away.  Only Snowball was an indoor cat, so Leanne knew what had really happened: he had gotten rid of her.  Leanne might have been willing to be treated like garbage, but she drew the line at animals being mistreated.  She immediately picked up the suitcase she had set down only moments earlier and walked out of the loft for good.  She sent a friend around to pick up the rest of her stuff a few days later.

Leanne had decided that night that her friends were right, she did deserve to be treated like a queen.  That’s what lead her to buy that Purple Pandemonium eye shadow kit.  She wanted to look  good when she went out with her girlfriends this weekend, and with her skin tone she will, regardless of whatever shade she chooses.


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