Important Business Matters

Arnold Bains can’t remember exactly when it happened, but somewhere down the road the Labour Board (or was it some touchy feely Human Rights Group?) decided that there are certain questions he can’t ask a potential employee during a job interview.

For instance, it’s now considered a huge invasion of privacy to ask whether or not someone is married, if they have kids, or a disability.  Arnold couldn’t care less if you have a family; he just likes to make small talk sometimes.  Nor does he care if you have to type the weekly sales reports with your toes instead of your fingers.  How you get the job done is besides the point.  He’ll feel badly for you, mind you, but he’d never let on because the last thing a person with special needs is to be reminded that they have special needs.  As far as he’s concerned, so long as you show up on time everyday, do your job and don’t cause any trouble, he’ll be happy.

There are certain questions that he feels are vitally important, however; ones that could have a direct impact his business.  If he were to free to ask, you can bet he’d be sure to find out the following from all job candidates:

***Are you currently awaiting trial for a drunk driving arrest?  A person can’t make sales calls if their license has been suspended or if they’re about to be sentenced to hard time, but lots of people think they can.

***Have you ever embezzled money from a previous employer?  You have no idea how many people have been forced to look for a new job for that reason, and they all seem to apply at Arnold’s company afterwards.

***If I were to go on any of your social media accounts, would I find that you had made disparaging remarks about your current or past employer?  Yep, people have been dumb enough to do that.

***Do you belong to a Nazi skinhead organization?  See the above.

***Have you ever brought weapons to work?  These days, Arnold has to consider that a staff member’s briefcase very well might be full of weapons of mass destruction.

***These letters of recommendations, are they legit or did your past employers have to give them to you just to get you to sign off on the separation papers?  If someone’s been fired from one place, there’s a good chance Arnold’s going to have to fire them.

Arnold’s not allowed to ask these questions, though, so the loonies just keep showing up.  Is the woman who just sat down across from him in his office one, or will she end up being the best sales rep he has ever hired?  It’s hard to tell at this stage of the game, but one thing’s for sure: she’s wearing wedding rings so there’s one question he doesn’t have to ask.

Oh yeah, that’s right.  He almost forgot: he can’t ask that anymore.


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