The World Traveler

Tired of spending every summer vacation at his mom and dad’s trailer fifty miles out of town, Jeremy decided to do something different this year.  He was going to be more like his friends and colleagues and go someplace people would actually want to hear about upon his return. The question was, where?  Should he go somewhere tropical?  Someplace with historical charm?  Somewhere woodsy?   Unable to make up his mind, he decided to leave it up to the globe that sat on his desk at home.

“I’ll just close my eyes, spin the globe and where my finger lands, that’s where I’ll go,” he said, excited about the possibilities.

He gave it a good spin, much harder than a zealous Wheel of Fortune contestant ever could, and then left his vacation destination up to his left index finger.

“Oh no, I can’t go to where hundreds of thousands of refugees just spent the last year fleeing,” he said after landing on Syria.  “I’ll give it another spin.”

Round and round the globe spun, until Jeremy stopped it once again.

“Siberia.  Yeah, I don’t think so.  Maybe if I were in the Hard Labour Camp business, but not for a holiday.  Third time’s the charm?”


“Best four out of five?” Jeremy then wagered.

Western Sahara.

“I do not care for camels.  Come on globe, work with me!” a now desperate Jeremy pleaded.


“I can do Austria!  There’s beer and schnitzel and picturesque mountains there.  Osterreich, hier komme ich!” he said after looking up how to say “Austria, here I come!” in German.

And that is how Jeremy ended up in the quaint little village of Fucking, Austria.  Located a short two and a half miles east of Germany, this village of just over one hundred people was founded in the 6th century by a nobleman named Focko.  It’s actually pronounced Fooking for all of you purists out there, but isn’t it much more fun to say it the English way?

Jeremy thinks so, and he thinks that letting the globe randomly pick where you should vacation really is the way to go.  Maybe he will take a chance on Greenland next time.


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