Everything’s Coming Up Roses

Dreams really can come true.  If you work hard enough, believe in yourself, and tune out all of the naysayers you can realize your wildest fantasies.

No one believes this more than Polly Lincoln.  All of her adult life she had dreamt of opening up her own flower shop; so she scrimped and saved, took business courses, and studied floral arranging.  You can imagine then the pride she felt when she opened the doors of Polly’s Petals that first day, and how excited she was when someone walked in within the first the minutes.

“Hi!  How may I help you?” Polly asked ever so eagerly.

“Get out,” the man before her replied ominously.

“Excuse me?” she said, taken aback.

“Close up, get out, and don’t ever think about coming back.  This town’s not big enough for two flower shops and if you think Everything’s Coming Up Roses is going to hand over control to you, you’ve got another thing coming.”

“What are you, the Flower Shop Mafia or something?” Polly asked facetiously, but the man just turned around and walked out without saying another word.

The next morning, Polly came in to find that all of the petals had been plucked off of each and every stem.  A week after that, the water line to her shop was cut, making it impossible for her to properly water her posies.  The week after that, she pulled into the parking lot to find a giant sign out front of her shop that read ‘GOING OUT OF BUSINESS’.  That’s when Polly called a meeting with the folks at Everything’s Coming Up Roses.

“Do you think you can scare me?” Polly asked her competitor’s heavy.  “Well I have four words for you: I’m from Port Colborne.”

The heavy from Everything’s Coming Up Roses was about to laugh when the seriousness of what she had just said hit him.

“What did you just say?” he asked, revealing a hint of fear in his voice.

“I’m from Port Colborne.  Born and raised.”

The Port Colborne?  As in, Ontario, Canada?”


“East side or West side?”

“East side.  The Lidsville neighbourhood, as a matter of fact.”

That stopped the heavy cold.  Everyone with a hint of badass in them knows that no one can match the level of badassery that the people of Lidsville have in them.  The fact that this woman got out was proof enough that it would be in his best interest to not just leave her alone, but to bow at her feet.

A week later, Everything’s Coming Up Roses went out of business and Polly’s Petals became the only flower shop in Polly’s adopted hometown.

It’s true, there is such a thing as the Flower Shop Mafia and you can guess who now runs the show.


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