George Clooney swore for decades that he would never marry again. “I have no desire to,” he said. “Besides, I don’t think it’s necessary in this day and age, and I certainly don’t want to have kids.”
Many, many women didn’t believe him, or at least didn’t want to believe him. They wanted to believe that they would be the woman who changed his mind. That they were that special one-of-a-kind woman no one in their right mind would let get away. Every one of them eventually had their heart broken. It was then that they finally accepted the fact that George Clooney was telling the truth when he said that he didn’t want to remarry.
Only George Clooney did want to get married again. He desperately wanted to get married. Not to the wannabe actresses and models that threw themselves at him. No, the woman George Clooney dreamed of marrying was Amy Poehler.
George first caught sight of Amy in 2001 when she joined the cast of Saturday Night Live. Smart, funny, strong, independent, and in possession of an adorably cute smile, Amy was everything that George ever wanted in a woman. Unlike the other women who had come and gone through his life, Amy didn’t need George. She was fine on her own. George needed someone like Amy, though, and that’s why he was too afraid to ask her out. ‘Maybe one day,’ he thought. ‘Maybe one day I’ll get the nerve.’
Do you know who wasn’t afraid to ask her out? Will Arnett, and in 2003 they married. George was happy for Amy, but the jealous side of him that he didn’t like to admit to having also kind of hoped that their marriage would end like most other showbiz marriages – in divorce.
That changed, of course, once Amy and Will had their two boys. As much as George loved Amy Poehler, he didn’t want to see her two boys suffer.
Then one day in 2012, George heard news that shocked him. It shocked everyone really. Amy and Will were splitting up. George didn’t really know Will, but he felt that he knew Amy well enough to know that someone like her should be spared the pain of divorce, as did her two little ones. Still, he couldn’t help but to also think that maybe he might have a shot with her after all. “I’ll just give her the time she needs to heal,” he said, “and then I’ll do what I should have done all those years ago, and that’s ask her out.”
Flash forward to January 2014 and the Golden Globe Awards. Amy and her friend, Tina Fey were once again hosting. George was thrilled because he knew that these two brilliant ladies would keep everybody laughing and they did; only this time everyone was laughing at George Clooney. When word broke the previous summer that George had broken up with yet another girlfriend, it occurred to a lot of people that that’s what George did. He dates them and then dumps them. It was starting to get a little sad and a little creepy. That’s what Amy and Tina based their jokes upon.
‘Amy Poehler thinks that I’m a joke, a loser, and a sad and aging Hollywood actor,’ George quietly thought while he sat watching the ceremony at his villa in Italy. That was the moment that George knew that he would never win Amy Poehler’s heart. He promised himself right then and there that if he ever met someone as wonderful as Amy, he wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.
What no one back in America realized that sitting next to George on the couch that evening was the elegant, intelligent, and incredibly beautiful Amal Alamuddin.
“You’re awfully quiet tonight,” she said to George. “What’s on your mind?”
“I was just thinking about doing something smart for a change,” he replied.
In April 2014 they became engaged and then were married just a few months later on September 27th. People were shocked that someone had finally landed George Clooney and that it all happened so quickly. But George knew that he couldn’t repeat his past mistake.
Amy Poehler was not invited to the wedding.