Warning: The Following Contains Coarse Language. Viewer Discretion is Advised

It isn’t just the bad people of the world that make mistakes, good people do as well.  Every now and then kind, loving, generous and smart people have brain farts.  They’re only human after all.  This is why you hear stories about department heads accidentally typing ‘You will be paid a weekly salary of $8,000.00’ instead of ‘$800.00′ in an offer of employment; about a mom putting baking powder instead of baking soda into a batter; and about a plumber forgetting to turn off the water before removing a pipe.  The other three hundred and sixty four days of the year they’re busy doing brilliant things, but that one off day of the year for them is the one you hear about.

Today was Donna Lawton’s off day.  Actually, it wasn’t the whole day where she was off, it was just this one moment shortly after 10 a.m. where she was off.  It was the moment where she came within two feet of hitting a teenager at the corner of Elm and Main.

“What are you?  Fuckin’ retarded?” the teen shouted at her as she pulled into the gas station right there at the corner.

“I’m so sorry,” Donna apologized sincerely, for that’s the type of person she is.  When Donna says she’s sorry, she really means it.

“It’s called a pedestrian right of way, you stupid fuckin’ bitch!” he said instead of accepting Donna’s apology.

Wow, that was a bit extreme, Donna thought, but instead of saying that aloud she offered another apology.

“It’s assholes like you who shouldn’t be given a license.  You see that walk symbol?  That’s what makes you a fuckin’ retarded bitch!”  Then, as if to fully demonstrate just how wronged he felt, he threw up his arms and shouted “Arrr!”

Donna stood there speechless.  Then she stood there and thought, It’s too bad I didn’t hit him.  I could have crossed one more off of Darwin’s list.  No judge in the land would have convicted me.  In fact, this kid’s teachers and classmates would  have thrown me a ticker tape parade.  I bet ISIS would have released a statement about how he was too radical even for them.

No, Donna then thought.  I’m better than that.  So go on foul-mouthed, pants hanging down below your bum teenager.  Go and spread your thoughts on how love and forgiveness are overrated.

Donna then got back in her car and drove to another gas station, incident free.


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